Nuniek Tirta - Note from a multirole woman

Tuesday, January 8, 2002
A week passed by without his presence, so I asked him to drop by, but he said he's still so busy with his study. I said "alrite, that's ok, I understand." And then he said, "Thanks, I'm so glad to hear that." "I always try to understand you, dear."

Wednesday, January 9, 2002
Wednesday I got sick, but I cant rest at home since plenty of works waiting for me at d'office. I met him again online, how glad I was just to see his nick. He's in a very bad mood that day because of his educational problems. I was trying to console him though me, myself, was in "not-better-than-him" condition. I'm sick, deadly busy, lost my cellular number, my cousin got an accident until losing his mind, and I've just lost my money. And I missed him, still. I couldnt met him again that day. He said he couldnt drop by, while it's impossible for me to come to him since I got bunch of works and not in a good condition [I'm still sick and even getting worse]. Gosh, how I wished to see him & hug him & kiss him, just for a moment...

Thursday, January 10, 2002
I met him online again, but only for a while. I got great expectation dat he would come, but he didnt. Instead, he said dat he's goin to Bandung dat afternoon... Dammit. I dunno what to say. I'm here wanting to see him, but he didnt even think to come.
On the same day, a friend of him made trouble with me on channel for a reason dat I dont understand at all. I've been blamed for some faults dat I didnt made, juz b'coz they thought dat I was him. I tried to contact him, he said he'd juz arrived at Bandung and his cellular was low bat. And he didnt call back. =(
Dat nite I sent him an e-mail stating dat I'd quit from cyber world. Diz iz d'letta.
"I'm signing out from cyber world. I had enough and fed up with it.
About # ************-*********, i've no idea why they keep blaming me as d'problem maker while I know nothing at all about chan pass and bot. I really dont get it why ***** is so emotionally hates me, I never make any prob at all with him. I know dis is only cyber, so I hold my patience until he flood me with such bad words like per*k and pel*r, I cant stand it anymore. WHY? I tried to ask him nicely but instead of answering me, he said bad words to me. I give up. If he had probs with me, pliz tell me so dat i wont do dat anymore. I even said sorry to him [though i dont know what my fault was], but i dont see he appreciate it at all. he still keep blaming me and say bad words for me even on channel.
If d'probs is about n*******o, i told him to tell u directly about dat, coz i know nothing about bot n i dont even know how to command d'bot. U're d'one who created it. But he dont wanna understand it at all. Well, at least i tried to explain.
Out from it all, my job is getting taugh, since d'deadline for isp will be d'end of diz month. I got billion of things to do here, so I dont wanna waste my time to chat with perusuh people like dat. If anyhow I go online, I wont join dat channel. u know where to find me.
Today I got two meetings and I had to make two reports, not to mention billings and financial stuff. Ugh! *sigh*
By the way, I got a chance to be placed in Bandung or LA, USA, but I dont know whether i'd take it or not.
In Bandung I will assist dis company, in LA I will got independent job from my boss. He really support me to go there.
Suggest, please. But if u feel u dont have enough time to reply, i wont push u. I wont waste ur precious time.
Bye, have a nice stay in bandung. take care. cya when i cya.
And... dont forget to come home ;)
I was hoping for his reply, but dat was juz a silly hope, coz as usual, he never reply my e-mail (!)
Still on dat nite, I left d'office at 10 PM (!) to get my job done, but still, it left unfinished. I get home at 10.30 and continuing my works at home. I kept on working dat nite, and... guess what?! At 01 AM, d'computer was hang!!! and all I've done was totally gone without any recovery at all... Gosh! Feel like outa diz world! And there I go again, re-do all I’ve done, kept on working until 4 AM till I got my works finished for d’deadline.

Friday, January 11, 2002
Diz is my first day outa MIRC. Some pals still keep in touch with me by MSN, Yahoo, or even ComZer. My sick getting’ worse while my jobs getting harder. Hikz.

Saturday, January 12, 2002
I was hoping for his phone call. I wished dat I can call from home, but too bad dat d’phone was locked and I couldn go out coz I still sick. At nite, my sick become worst and I got “jackpot”, throwing out all I’ve ate dat day. My mom panic and run me to d’hospital. I should’ve been hospitalized if d’hospital had not been full. I wanted him beside me, wondering what he’s been doing…

Sunday, January 13, 2002
I kept on waiting for his phone call, but all in vain… I started to wonder if he really care for me. If so, how come he didn’t contact me? Doesn’t he want to know how am I doing?

Monday, January 14, 2002
Today was our second anniversary. Though I know I could call him, I kept on waiting until he call me up, coz I feel unsure about us. It’s been 61 days since we made dat commitment, 14 days since we last met, 10 days since his last call, and 4 days since we last talked. Do we still need dat commitment? What for? Diz kinda relationship has no difference at all with “open friendship”, where I can come and go anytime I like without having any commitment, and of course, without any rights and obligations. At 2 pm he finally called and asked me to call back. The funny thing was when he asked me “How are you?” Haha! Wat kinda question was dat?? After some buzz, he finally said sorry and bla bla bla… I held myself from saying “Happy Anniversary”, wondering if he remember. But, taraa…. He didn’t! He didn’t even remember our anniversary until I sent him a “Bon Anniversaire” SMS. Ironic…

Tuesday, January 15, 2002
He promised to come, but he didn’t. Outa money, he said. When I called him, I’ve been speechless for a while, and he doesn’t like dat. He’s yelling at me before cut off d’call. At nite I called him again. We’re debating bout those things dat he didn’t like bout me, and me, speechless, wondering if he ever think bout what I dislike from him… I was totally speechless and started to cry. He didn’t know dat. Being impatient, he put off d’phone. Dammit. It was me who called and it’s impolite of him to put it off first. *Hikz*
Being disappointed, I dialed 08161987*** rite after, juz to say nothing but silence. He knew I was crying. And not more than 5 minutes, he can make me smile again! I know I can always count on you, My Savior! U’re d’one who really knew me at all… And thanks for always be there, and be my shoulder to cry on…

Monday, January 15, 2002
*** Now talking in # ****** [sensor]
*** ChanServ sets mode: +nt
*** WannaBeLonely changes topic to 'It's been 61 days since we made dat commitment, 14 days since we last met, 10 days since ur last call, and 4 days since we last talked. Do we still need that commitment? What for....?'

Wednesday, January 16, 2002
*** Now talking in # ******
*** ChanServ sets mode: +nt
*** ChanServ changes topic to 'It's been 61 days since we made dat commitment, 14 days since we last met, 10 days since ur last call, and 4 days since we last talked. Do we still need that commitment? What for....? << No Comment... it's up to you now :))

Thursday, January 17, 2002
*** Now talking in # ******
*** ChanServ sets mode: +nt
*** ChanServ changes topic to 'It's been 61 days since we made dat commitment, 14 days since we last met, 10 days since ur last call, and 4 days since we last talked. Do we still need that commitment? What for....? << No Comment... it's up to you now :)) << Dats it... Know u by now... Cya when I cya...'